Practicing/Progress

Jon and I get to practice our parenting skills this weekend--we're keeping our great-nephew/godson Roman for a couple of days/nights.  He's such a sweet baby.

Also, we're beginning to see a wee bit of progress on the fundraising front.  We've had a couple of donations on the blog from sweet friends/family members, and I do a happy dance every time I get one of these notifications:

Skipping Steps

I have a problem with wanting to skip steps and make things happen.  This problem has led me to create many unpleasant situations for myself over the years.  When I want something in life I want it NOW, and I try and rush to the finish line--often wreaking havoc in my life along the way.  I can tell when the Lord is trying to work something out in me because I usually encounter a similar situation over and over, much to my annoyance.  The message I've been getting loud and clear over the past year--which has been magnified even more the past couple of weeks--is SLOW DOWN.  Be patient.  Trust Me.  This is completely infuriating, and yet I'm finding myself slowly yielding and becoming more peaceful.  A little.  I've even been stuck  behind people going a good 10 miles below the speed limit (which makes me insane) every single day on the way to work for the past two weeks.  The first week of this I fumed and arrived at work irritated and tense everyday.  I yelled "GOOOOOO!!!" a lot in my car.  This week I've just been turning up the music or NPR and relaxing.  Patience--okay, I get it Lord.  You can stop with the annoying slow people now.  I even had a doctor--who's been such a blessing and a help to me--tell me today to stop trying to rush through the treatment I've been receiving from him, that it will take some time.  Ha! 


I don't have to tell you again that I'm feeling impatient about adoption stuff.  (See the impatience blog post from a couple of weeks ago.)  I want to see progress NOW!!!  We have chosen our agency, we are excited and ready to go.  The only thing holding us back from getting started is money, and that makes me crazy.  I'm feeling crazy because most of my stuff on eBay isn't selling, and no one wants to buy the couch we've posted three times on CraigsList in the past week.  I know that my need to control things stems from fear; fear that I won't get what I want unless I force it to happen according to my timing. Now I'm afraid that Ethiopia will close to international adoptions before we get our babies home.  I'm afraid we won't be able to raise the money needed to fund our adoption and we'll be scrambling a year from now, desperately trying to find the money to finish the process.  I'm just afraid. 


As I work through this issue, the Lord keeps bringing to mind how He's displayed His faithfulness in my life.  A year ago there was a job I desperately wanted, and had wanted for a long time, at my company.  Despite some difficult circumstances I was chosen for the job, and it's been a huge blessing.  Jon was unemployed for 6 months and there were definitely many times when it seemed like he would never work again.  A few weeks after he lost his job I felt like the Lord told me it would be 6 months until he had a new one.  I kind of put it on the back burner--6 months seemed like an eternity and I didn't want to accept that it would take that long.  On January 12, 6 months to the day after Jon had lost his job, I woke up and told God, "okay, today it's 6 months.  You said 6 months and I'm holding you to it. It's go time."  Jon found out that day that he'd been chosen for an absolutely amazing job, which he now loves.  Two years ago I dreamt that my dad had a heart attack and died in my arms.  I knew the dream was a warning from the Lord and I began to pray daily for my dad's life to be spared.  A few months after the dream my dad had a massive heart attack, and yet his life was spared.  God is gloriously, ridiculously faithful.  He delights in His children and longs to fill our lives with good things.  He follows through.  He will follow through with His calling on our lives to adopt from Ethiopia.  He will provide the money and we will bring our children home according to His perfect timing.  I just need to trust Him.  And be patient.


Because I know blog posts are incredibly boring without something fun to look at, here's a sweet video that was made by a family who's using our agency:

Update

We had to postpone the garage sale (until the 31st!) due to the yucky weather in Dallas today and schedule conflicts in the next couple of weeks.  I'm staying positive and thinking that this is a good thing--it's a blessing to have more time to collect items from our friends and family members and to get everything organized.  I pray that on the 31st the sale will bring in the $2,000 we need to get started with our agency, and that a month from now we will be in the thick of the "paper chase," getting things ready for our home study!  

In the meantime I will be baking and eating more cookies, and trying to deal with my house looking like this:

Impatience

I'm struggling with feeling impatient today.  I always feel a little impatient about adoption stuff, but today I'm feeling the antsy-climbing-the-walls-can't-sit-still kind of impatient.  I want to apply to an agency (we are pretty sure which agency we are going to use and are in touch with them, but I'm not announcing who they are until we've signed on the dotted line), start the tedium of the paper chase, and complete our home study.  Yesterday. 

We need to raise $2,000 before we formally apply to our agency, to cover the application and home study fees.  Two. Thousand. Dollars.  Yipes. Jon and I have just implemented a spartan budget (tear) to pay off debt so that we are more financially free when the babies come home, and every extra penny--of which there are pitifully few--is going toward the debt mountain.  In other words, we don't have anything left over to put toward our adoption fund and are relying solely on fundraising to get us to our goal. We are having a big garage sale this Saturday and we have been blown away by the generosity of our church family members who have kindly given us their unwanted clothes, books, TVs, couches, etc.  I am praying that we raise a ridiculous amount of money.  I am also building a giant stack of items to sell on eBay; the babies win over Anthropologie shirts and old Coach bags.  My favorite quote in the "gotcha day" video I posted is: "God always funds His callings."  Amen.  We know that the Lord is Jehovah Jireh, Our Provider, and will more than meet our needs.  

But still, I am feeling impatient.  While I wait, tensed, at the starting line of the race we're about to run, I hold onto scriptures like these: 

"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:31  

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done."  Philippians 4:6

And, I eat a lot of cookies.

Dreaming of Our "Gotcha Day"

Here is one of the "gotcha day" videos I watched about a million times that first week when adoption became my new obsession.  It still makes me cry.  I can't wait to walk out of an orphanage and head to the airport in Addis Ababa with OUR children.